Pressure: Bae for LIFE!

Hello you people reading.. Brace yourselves for this rant that you are about to waste the coming few minutes on!!

Every being on earth has a tough life obviously cause that’s the bloody essence to survive, okay I get it BUT why do other things like: Time, Age, MONEY, Geography, Emotional Parents, and other freaking people who you don’t even know have to add to this already so tough life of yours that you are struggling to live?! Why? Just whhyy…

I come from a moderately conservative family, and I am very much okay with that. I was always allowed to do what I wish but with T&C’s lol, which is fair okay I get the worries. But when I am being such a nice person understanding all that, Why am I taken for granted? for being so understanding? It should be the other way around, I should be more trusted and allowed to make decisions that obviously are reliable and practical. However, that sadly isn’t the case. So do you get the level of frustration a person who is sensible with average IQ and BIG FAT DREAMS/AIMS/GOALS, has to undergo for no real reason? Like seriously!

You finish school, finish university and even grad school for what bruv? to freaking get a career not the ones of the millionaires but reach at a fair level you have worked so hard for. All these years you wait to reach this stage when you slog to find a job and settle down career wise. But NO, it’s time to get married, be a wife and start a family…Yuhhuu What fun! (no offence maybe it’s fun and is a dream for some, but not mine at the moment). Oh when you say no to that, You apparently have never ever followed your family or society or the freaking way of life. Like whaaat??!! Apparently anything you wish to do, you can do it after Marriage with your Husband! Yay that seems so possible…

And the best part, you don’t even get a job why? cause the market is down. Sure bruv you can be down and low as it can get but why now? and why you taking forever? Doesn’t the economy have 1 freakin job (or 2, for ma friend too). Anybody at this situation would move out and look elsewhere or maybe enjoy the vacay! But Na’a moving out is a huge step for you and the only next step is to be wife (woot woot). Okay so you try to destress by meeting your friends, shopping or any other thing you would do which will obviously cost you and make you spend them bucks on, but Hello hold on dahling! Your bank account is on freaking maternity leave!

Now you are drowning with emotions, but positive tumblr life quotes got you! Your optimist bar just rises and some nobody; your neighbor, or a relative who had been MIA all their life comes into the scene all so alarmed trying to save your life gives these oh so wise advices to you and family about how my age isn’t proportionate to what I’m doing with my life. ‘You need to settle down soon, your parents need a break’, ‘Just do some job for now anyway you gonna be home multitasking household chores’, ‘You won’t find good guys if you delay so much’, ‘Don’t know why her parents even listen to her, kids delay but they must know’ – People! I understand how worried you are about me, I really appreciated your non-existence in my life before so let’s maintain that in future too!

So you are in your bed going through insta and checking out vlogs on Youtube, and you hear mumbling from the other room. Who them? My family, Saying what? How they are so worried about me (which basically is my marriage). Like if you all haven’t got it yet – Marriage is what I was born for peeps! *emoji with the shades on*. Okay so I understand that has been yours and every other person’s dream to get me married HURRAY! But hold on a tad bit, it won’t harm you for sure I know!

It’s so simple, yet so hard for anybody to understand that – Marriage, Job, Family and Death (lol) doesn’t need a specific time, location, age, financial status, or societal pressure to be scheduled in one’s life! If I’m happy and I feel I’m settled then I’m obviously open to how others want to take the wheel of my life. Right now I’m not, how hard is it to see that Ya’ll? Stop this pressure, give it time. Let us figure out life first, just stop this unhappy cribbing for a while! It’s so uncalled for.. On one side (online) you see these posts about Feminism and Career Success and on the other side (the reality) you are literally fighting amongst so many emotions and killing yourself inside. The worst part, it’s not because of you that you are in this stress.. It’s the people, the pressures they bring into your life. When will this stop?! I can go on and on ranting, but I know the next minute I post this I’m going back to the physics of life – trying to position my age and life stage at equilibrium. Byyee..

 

Image Source: disney.wikia.com

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A little bit more.

Whatever you  do, you “need to be a little bit more”. I have been having this thought of how we are either being pushed or being told to ‘be a little bit more’. This is in regard to ‘a better you’ context.

Alright, in one way the idea is all about personal development and is for the betterment of your being, but what if that is just a social pressure that is silently damaging what we are as a person and our character. I’ve got no scientific research or philosophical proof of how exactly we are manipulated by our environment, but it’s obvious that we definitely are being pushed and pulled towards the perceptions of either individuals or the media.

Why do I have to listen to them?

It’s not even the general idea of being a better person – it’s the intricate details that these individuals and media go through. From the tiniest ways to live your life to get on a quest for major life changing decisions – why do you want me to listen to you? Why am I told to always be more than now?

 -No better you than the you that you are- (1)

Recent song release that got me thinking :

“No better you than the you that you are”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em7vc8NWUNY

What you do is never enough.

Alright, so you come to a conclusion to change, just be a little more ‘open ears’ and listen to them. You understand their point and ‘try’ to change and you succeed too, but guess what, that’s not enough. You should do more. You should try harder. Apparently, the effort you made now is just tiny compared to what you should be doing – based on what the WORLD is doing. Why is that a concern – why are you telling me it should be MY concern? Can’t MY efforts be enough to satisfy MY goals? – nope, we just have to try harder.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

The flip side

Remain calm, if it meant to be it will happen. Like, what now? After all the messages about trying harder and takings efforts to be better, now you tell me to just remain calm? Please media, make up your mind.

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On a serious note, I don’t think I can find an apt solutions to the weariness of this unbalance of having to ‘strive better’ and having to ‘be happy with at where you are’ – it does, of course differ based on your personal situation but the concern is – we are clung on to social media so much that before we start to understand if the message is personally relevant to us or not, we are already ready with conclusions.

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Until next time..xxx

Life hacks for that phase in life when everything falls apart! (Tried & Tested by me)

No this isn’t a depressing, negative and disorienting post. It’s just an acknowledgement to one of the phases in life. The not so good one! According to me there are 6 facets to life – Family, Friends, Love, Education, Health and Career. Imagine when all of them go wrong! That’s what this is post is all about.

Just FYI I’m not going through depression or any unlikely mental condition. Life can’t always be happy and exciting, hence the posts too. No one actually talks much about the downfalls in life. Many of the posts/articles/videos/pictures tell a story that explain happiness or joy the person is going through. Yes, that’s a wonderful feeling to share your good times with everyone. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t going through a rough patch. Everyone is surely tackling something that makes them sad/depressed/unhappy/regret and that’s pretty much the truth which is hidden in those happy stories they share.

But wait, It’s not so bad after all its pretty much a learning and testing of your patience!

I may sound like I have found inner peace with all this negativity. But NO it’s a big fail! The trick is to use this phase as a stepping stone to follow your passion. It’s about finding yourself and knowing what you are good at. I know it’s hard but fighting for what isn’t happening or complaining is not the way out. You are just making yourself believe you can’t do it.What has to happen will happen at its right time which is pretty unknown and frustrating. But such is life! (Yup! It took me some time to understand and believe what I just said)

I’m addicted to productivity in anything I do. And it feels worse when your mental health stops you from doing things you could be doing just fine on the other days. Best is to let those days be the most unproductive of all its okay you don’t need to work yourself out. You are your own boss! You define your ways –

Come in terms with the situation, see what you can do with the skills & support you have. There are going to ups and downs, so many days when you have zero level of optimism. Let those days be don’t worry about not being productive or being nice to someone. Just do what makes you feel happy, even if it is getting sun burnt at the beach all alone but you are happy at the end of the day.

Strike out your worries out one by one, tackle them one by one. Don’t think or try to solve all the worries at once you just won’t make it. Prioritize and combat!

Speak to your friends and family, Yup! You have to. How much we want to run away from them and not explain anyone what we need and want cause they simple won’t get it. But just try and you will have help right there waiting to solve your mess. Remember you just need their support not their approval (Sadly, I’m guilty of that!! Yet it’s WIP).

Workout – Physically & Mentally, The best!

Keep trying, be it your job, education, health or family you just have to keep trying. Surely at a different intensity everyday but even if it is an 2% effort to fix things you still got to get the ball rolling. Don’t stick with the past and be open to ‘Change’. You need it!

Lastly be thankful to what you have, more than often times we don’t look into the good side of life and only focus on things that aren’t working out and ultimately reach nowhere. Take a break, stop and look at all that little things you have in life that others don’t and be thankful for those.

I am still working on achieving what I wish to achieve in life. These hacks have helped me through the years, yet I still have those days with lowest motivation. But you have to keep working for yourself cause if you don’t no one will! PERIOD

~Shahana

Image Source: Giphy

Pictures from Paris

Well its been a while since I had been to Paris – to be specific it was in October 2015, but the memories of the place and the people are so fresh it’s hard to believe it has been four months already.

Time goes fast to realize and appreciate where we are – so here I am finally posting few pictures from the Paris trip.

Ideally, we went for for my brother’s wedding and yes there were loooooads of work preparing for the wedding, but so glad I could also do some sight seeing here and there.

Visit 1: the local market!

Yes of course Paris is known for it’s amazing views of historical sites, but my first visit? the local market! I was too scared to take my phone out to snap pictures of the market so just some pictures on the way.

The brick roads

Visit 2: Sacré-Cœur (White Church)

My first day using the public transport – and it wasn’t just one mode of transport. In one day I got on the tram , the subway and even the bus (can I also say I reached 13,000 steps that day!).

Above are some pictures from the bus. I love vintage buildings, sight of historical monuments (just to imagine the stories behind these monuments) and plain sights of a simple lifestyle – all seen in the collage above.

And finally the sight of the Sacré-Cœur! We didn’t expect the amount of crowd that day, but apparently it was because of a mini street concert happening. French songs being played, and people of all nationalities dancing on the streets quite a carnival effect there. Slowly we made our way through the crowd and up till the entrance. Once we reached we could see the view of the entire city – spectacular it was! (Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of the view here – surely will upload it when I find it). We had our share of one billion pictures taken (I’m kidding, we needed to save memory space) and so we headed over to some snacking (of course) for some fresh Churros.

Once we got done with the pictures and the snacking, we were ready to leave the place for visit no 3, but to a even greater surprise the mini concert suddenly played Bollywood /Kollywood songs! (Video of this later ) After that mini episode of excitement we were off to our visit no. 3.

Visit no 3 : the very iconic Eiffel Tower.

Getting to the Eiffel tower was an adventure. We basically took a longer route and had to wait for the bus and walk longer, just so we could get in time for the ‘lighting of the tower’- 8 pm to be exact. We spotted the lighting of tower from far and it was very beautiful. After which we walked closer the the ‘iron lady’. The place was too crowded and we had to wait in longer queue for the ticket to go up – so we skipped that and headed straight home.

The tower shimmers (seen on the right)

And so after a long metro ride, we caught the last tram and got back home just in time for dinner.

Hope you liked the post! Do comment and share your opinion on the post.

#keepwandering,

-Arunya

 

 

17 Things an MBA has taught me apart from being ‘academically well versed’…

MBA is not just an addition to your profile or a step to a successful career. I am very much enjoying my journey so far and I am only half way through. Yet I can confidently say I am a changed individual in just these 6 months of study. So when you plan to do an MBA get ready to give in the best of your potential in life. Its a pretty much demanding journey but one with the most rewards. Hope you enjoy reading and do add in some of your thoughts if you may agree more 🙂

Here you go..

16 Things an MBA has taught me apart from being ‘academically well versed’…

  1. Being calm is not an option: You are either stressed or emotionless.
  2. Organizing is key: You must pre-plan your whole year in advance including your leave, your PMS days and most productive days AND abide by them!
  3. Stay healthy: Sleep + exercise = productivity, Caffeine + healthy diet = positivity x mental focus!
  4. NEWS: A must read! Download all possible apps to get alerts from all over the world and even outer space.
  5. Change the way you shop: Yes! You start thinking between the lines of a SALE or a weekly draw even at a 1 pound store!
  6. Valuing relationships: Surprising but true! That’s a sign when you really need your break! Yay family time.. (miracles happen).
  7. Personality development: Unknowingly but eventually you change into a different person (in a good way).
  8. I’m more confident: Just a result of meeting classmates who are 5 to 30 years older than me.
  9. You finally can start a conversation at your Dad’s Boss’s dinner party: Talk about the weather or the economy, Always works!
  10. Even more practical thinking: YES or a NO.. Mostly a NO!
  11. Study time: Follow the student handbook. 20 hours a week is actually the right way and not just for ‘those nerds’.
  12. Networking: Growing connections on linkedin and not facebook.
  13. Use of Marketing Jargons: Competitive Advantage is an alternative for ‘I’m better than you’.
  14. Size matters: Size of the BOOKS.. it’s either big or bigger.
  15. Stronger career path: Don’t have to google ‘how to write an effective cover letter’ anymore. You know what would get you that job.
  16. Why work experience is actually a ‘requirement’: 3 years minimum = 10% helpful and 90% delete and replace. The more you work the less you need to read/browse/search/understand/learn.
  17. Change in preferences: Be it the Movies you loved to watch or the Events you never missed. You now start looking at the ROI’s!

~ Shahana

Picture source: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk