Perfect! We all know what this word means and how often we use it. But has anyone ever thought does this word really makes sense? Perfect means flawless or the ideal type. Is anything ever flawless in this world? Everything needs an upgrade over a time span. We either change in our preferences or try and match the rest of the world who are trying to match somebody else.

I am a business management graduate in Dubai and trying float on the high tides of a twenty something. We all sometimes compare ourselves to one another, especially the ladies. Well Amigos that has 2 sides to it. Firstly, some of us who are positive enough make that comparison a benchmark and the second set of us move out to an island full of darkness. My mother always told me that never hope or wish for something by equating yourself to another, always be thankful to God for everything we had. And I did so…but then not 100%.

I decided to take up a journey that shows how happy I am with myself yet questioning my inner self on the flaws I have ‘according to me’. In this wonderful everlasting journey I lost my actual identity, I dint know who I actually was. You know that feeling when you pre-plan all your moves or dialogues and just enact the script and later regret what in world did I just do and why I can’t just be myself?! YES that was me every single time. As I got older I realized everyone is different but most importantly they have their own problems that they cry every night for (or not). But guess what? My insecurities got older too, they got more intense more disturbing.

I dint know what I wanted or where my career is heading or how less social my life is becoming and how could I work this out and so on…

Finally one day I got tired of living in this scripted world of mine since I tried harder only to fail. I learned to say ‘I don’t care’. This helped me realize that there is nothing in this world that is ‘perfect’ there are mishaps and times when you have to love what you hate. Perfect only defines your confidence in yourself that says ‘ignore the people just love what you do and who you are’. And it’s super easy to achieve that, how? Just tell yourself ITS OKAY and you’ll be ready for anything.

It’s okay I can’t cook like Martha Stewart

It’s okay that my career is a mess

It’s okay that all my goals are so unrealistic but I still work for it

It’s okay that I watch Nat Geo when the world’s watching CNN

It’s okay that I’m not so fit but every day is a step

All this made me feel so much lighter. Every person has a different insecurity and ‘PERFECT’ is just a myth the world has created and it’s nothing that one can’t match up to. Just remember if you approve of yourself the rest will be history!!


Rant of Influenced choices!

An exam rant: “I never should have signed up for this. I never should have taken up this. I knew I didn’t like studying for this and still, I went through it. I should not have taken up something I truly know I am not interested in.”
The only two ways studying can be done is through focus or through interest. Tell your mind to do something that has neither, and all you have is heaps of procrastination and major sense of ‘taking-things-lightly’.
Well yes, I don’t take things seriously. That’s what it is. I take things for granted. I don’t push myself harder every time I should be and I eventually give things up easily. That’s how I am, although that’s not how I should reason/deal with myself, that’s how I see things now. I know that I guess I won’t change for the better if I don’t force myself into creating an interest or focus for whatever I signed up for  – but guess what, it isn’t happening.
Reason? The mind already KNOWS that it doesn’t like what it’s doing or supposed to do. It leaves it. Yes. Mine does – it leaves it. I cannot push myself further if I don’t like what I’m doing. Even so, I would need this external push. IOW I am NOT a self-serving person I need to be pushed to be self-served. That’s just how I was molded into. After 21 years of being molded into a horse, you cannot order the animal to suddenly evolve into the characteristics of a tiger (strange.and.silly. inappropriate.animal.comparison intended here)
Yes, some characteristics evolve with time – timid children can grow up to have loud and outgoing characters and chatty children can grow up to be the wise and sound-in-knowledge characters. But the WAY they grew up is always IN them – that can be disguised with time but it cannot be made rid of.
Point is, no matter what choices we make, we do indeed get influenced by others and their advice.. but not all the choices laid out to you is what you need. Those choices you get can always be not suitable for you, it can always NOT match your inner personality.
What you are now (over the age of 20, I suppose) is what you have become through the many influences you have faced throughout these years. But there is also that personality IN us, that cannot be influenced – that has not been influenced – that has not been tampered with – but disguised with many layers of opinions and influences of OTHERS.
So what now? Well, its time we twenties start paving our path. Pick up a chisel and start chipping off those choices you KNOW you don’t need. Start choosing the choices which you know it would lead you to what YOU like and what YOU find interested in.
“One other way to find yourself is to lose that doesn’t define who you are or who you want to be”