Pressure: Bae for LIFE!

Hello you people reading.. Brace yourselves for this rant that you are about to waste the coming few minutes on!!

Every being on earth has a tough life obviously cause that’s the bloody essence to survive, okay I get it BUT why do other things like: Time, Age, MONEY, Geography, Emotional Parents, and other freaking people who you don’t even know have to add to this already so tough life of yours that you are struggling to live?! Why? Just whhyy…

I come from a moderately conservative family, and I am very much okay with that. I was always allowed to do what I wish but with T&C’s lol, which is fair okay I get the worries. But when I am being such a nice person understanding all that, Why am I taken for granted? for being so understanding? It should be the other way around, I should be more trusted and allowed to make decisions that obviously are reliable and practical. However, that sadly isn’t the case. So do you get the level of frustration a person who is sensible with average IQ and BIG FAT DREAMS/AIMS/GOALS, has to undergo for no real reason? Like seriously!

You finish school, finish university and even grad school for what bruv? to freaking get a career not the ones of the millionaires but reach at a fair level you have worked so hard for. All these years you wait to reach this stage when you slog to find a job and settle down career wise. But NO, it’s time to get married, be a wife and start a family…Yuhhuu What fun! (no offence maybe it’s fun and is a dream for some, but not mine at the moment). Oh when you say no to that, You apparently have never ever followed your family or society or the freaking way of life. Like whaaat??!! Apparently anything you wish to do, you can do it after Marriage with your Husband! Yay that seems so possible…

And the best part, you don’t even get a job why? cause the market is down. Sure bruv you can be down and low as it can get but why now? and why you taking forever? Doesn’t the economy have 1 freakin job (or 2, for ma friend too). Anybody at this situation would move out and look elsewhere or maybe enjoy the vacay! But Na’a moving out is a huge step for you and the only next step is to be wife (woot woot). Okay so you try to destress by meeting your friends, shopping or any other thing you would do which will obviously cost you and make you spend them bucks on, but Hello hold on dahling! Your bank account is on freaking maternity leave!

Now you are drowning with emotions, but positive tumblr life quotes got you! Your optimist bar just rises and some nobody; your neighbor, or a relative who had been MIA all their life comes into the scene all so alarmed trying to save your life gives these oh so wise advices to you and family about how my age isn’t proportionate to what I’m doing with my life. ‘You need to settle down soon, your parents need a break’, ‘Just do some job for now anyway you gonna be home multitasking household chores’, ‘You won’t find good guys if you delay so much’, ‘Don’t know why her parents even listen to her, kids delay but they must know’ – People! I understand how worried you are about me, I really appreciated your non-existence in my life before so let’s maintain that in future too!

So you are in your bed going through insta and checking out vlogs on Youtube, and you hear mumbling from the other room. Who them? My family, Saying what? How they are so worried about me (which basically is my marriage). Like if you all haven’t got it yet – Marriage is what I was born for peeps! *emoji with the shades on*. Okay so I understand that has been yours and every other person’s dream to get me married HURRAY! But hold on a tad bit, it won’t harm you for sure I know!

It’s so simple, yet so hard for anybody to understand that – Marriage, Job, Family and Death (lol) doesn’t need a specific time, location, age, financial status, or societal pressure to be scheduled in one’s life! If I’m happy and I feel I’m settled then I’m obviously open to how others want to take the wheel of my life. Right now I’m not, how hard is it to see that Ya’ll? Stop this pressure, give it time. Let us figure out life first, just stop this unhappy cribbing for a while! It’s so uncalled for.. On one side (online) you see these posts about Feminism and Career Success and on the other side (the reality) you are literally fighting amongst so many emotions and killing yourself inside. The worst part, it’s not because of you that you are in this stress.. It’s the people, the pressures they bring into your life. When will this stop?! I can go on and on ranting, but I know the next minute I post this I’m going back to the physics of life – trying to position my age and life stage at equilibrium. Byyee..

 

Image Source: disney.wikia.com

A little bit more.

Whatever you  do, you “need to be a little bit more”. I have been having this thought of how we are either being pushed or being told to ‘be a little bit more’. This is in regard to ‘a better you’ context.

Alright, in one way the idea is all about personal development and is for the betterment of your being, but what if that is just a social pressure that is silently damaging what we are as a person and our character. I’ve got no scientific research or philosophical proof of how exactly we are manipulated by our environment, but it’s obvious that we definitely are being pushed and pulled towards the perceptions of either individuals or the media.

Why do I have to listen to them?

It’s not even the general idea of being a better person – it’s the intricate details that these individuals and media go through. From the tiniest ways to live your life to get on a quest for major life changing decisions – why do you want me to listen to you? Why am I told to always be more than now?

 -No better you than the you that you are- (1)

Recent song release that got me thinking :

“No better you than the you that you are”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em7vc8NWUNY

What you do is never enough.

Alright, so you come to a conclusion to change, just be a little more ‘open ears’ and listen to them. You understand their point and ‘try’ to change and you succeed too, but guess what, that’s not enough. You should do more. You should try harder. Apparently, the effort you made now is just tiny compared to what you should be doing – based on what the WORLD is doing. Why is that a concern – why are you telling me it should be MY concern? Can’t MY efforts be enough to satisfy MY goals? – nope, we just have to try harder.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

The flip side

Remain calm, if it meant to be it will happen. Like, what now? After all the messages about trying harder and takings efforts to be better, now you tell me to just remain calm? Please media, make up your mind.

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On a serious note, I don’t think I can find an apt solutions to the weariness of this unbalance of having to ‘strive better’ and having to ‘be happy with at where you are’ – it does, of course differ based on your personal situation but the concern is – we are clung on to social media so much that before we start to understand if the message is personally relevant to us or not, we are already ready with conclusions.

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Until next time..xxx

It’s that day – Feb 29th!

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– Google Home page

Don’t you think an extra day that you know for sure doesn’t come in the next four years is like a gift worth appreciating? It may seem silly for the people who think ‘too practical’ – who say ‘nah, it’s just another day”… Well yes it could be, but imagine scientifically (which is obvious THE most practical belief ) it is in fact proven that this day does not come in another four years. So, why not believe a little in that silly science fact and do something that is out of the ordinary?

For the questioners, here’s something quoted from Telegraph UK :

  “The Roman calendar did have 355 days with an extra 22-day month every two years, until Julius Caesar became emperor and ordered his astronomer Sosigenes to devise a better system in the 1st Century. Sosigenes decided on a 365-day year with an extra day every four years to incorportate the extra hours, and so February 29th was born.” Source:  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12177017/Leap-Year-2016-Why-does-February-have-29-days-every-four-years.html

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Not sure how you see this but I see how beautiful this fact is.  In between our busy norms and our serious/not-so-serious thoughts in our head – we must acknowledge that this extra 24 hours isn’t something that will come again – that fact by itself is amazing. Do something or not is not the concern, but just appreciate the time –  not only for today, but in general as well.

#keepcalmandcarryon

Arunya x

The day we went for the Colour Run 2015

The day of Colour Run 2015 – 21st November 2015

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Us in Yellow!!

After a year of wanting to go for the Colour Run – We finally made it .

Last year Shahana had brought up the idea of wanting to go for the event but we missed the deadline ‘cos of so many pending decisions like I had to travel to Qatar and the dates weren’t confirmed and many other tiny issues…

This year, it was a lot better because we got better compaanyyyy :). We got to pull along our mutual-work-colleague who is now our new-found bestie – Ranjeeta and her little sister -Rachna!

We received the Colour Run pack with some merchandise waaayy ahead of the event so it got us some time to feel the excitement for many days that the excitement did turn towards wee bit of nervous-ness (considering it was our first public run and that saying it includes colour!), but it was all well in the end.

We had to be there at 7am as the gates apparently closes by 9.30 am- the thought of waking up early and to drive to a location far away was by itself a mission for us. As dramatic as it sounds, we did make it on time, well 8.30 ish to be exact, ready to face our next mission to begin the race.

Runners were released on to the tracks on batches and we were (safely) the last batch of runners. Although the hype and attraction, we guessed, would have been more for the first batches, we could see the organizers/ hosts did their best to keep up the excitement till the very end.

Colour run

Map of the Colour Run 2015 .

To sum it up, as it looks on the map it was surely one colourful event!! We were super excited go for the run and glad we can tick it off our non-existing bucket list! 😀
Colour runs like these happen in different countries and if you happen to spot one in your place don’t hesitate to sign up for it enjoy the event!

 

Signing off now,

Arunya  🙂

Why the trashing, the cynicism and the rude behaviour?

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The world is much bigger than our mind could even imagine.

It may scare us with the abundance of factors that influence people and their behaviour – the hate, the love, the criticisms, the racisms, the judgements or appreciation.

You may get completely lost and feel extremely minute when you get in contact with this wider world…

But just  think broader with a general perspective.. aren’t we all biologically atleast 5% ( I could say more though) similar to each other – ignore the different factors – colour of the skin, nationality, the ‘I am from this place, therefore I look like this’ factor, the body sizes, the lifestyles, the educational background – anything – just about ANY factor OTHER THAN that we are all humans with one mind, one heart and a body that carries it?

That person who just passed by –  is just another reflection of yourself. That person is made of the same ”materials’ , you are made of. Each of us grow a year older the same way you do. Each of us breathe and need the same things you need to survive in the world we are given.Yet, we pass on the slightest negativity of judging and stereotyping one another –  we comment, demean, or pick on one another.

Given that we have a mind of our own, we could take the slightest effort to consider ourselves thankful to even have the capacity to think straight and have concious thoughts to get us through events that take place in a day or so. Yet..what some of us do/say to one other indivudual / group of individual is beyond atrocious.

You are as equal as that person next to you. You are as equal to that person you commented on the internet. You are as equal as the person that waiting in que for the cashier.

We are all equal to each other more than we can imagine.  We (or atleast some) just don’t see this only because we utterly refuse to believe this, and so ‘being equal’ APPEARS to be out of topic.

Where you stand now, is where someone stood earlier.. and who you commented on now could be you later. Would you appreciate if you swapped places? Would you show much hatred to yourself? No right? – Then why the trashing, the cynicism and/or rude behaviour.

In hopes to hear of an increase in the no of safe places for people to live in,

I sign out.

(ps : A genuine post on an un-influenced opinion – not intended to harm any)

(pps : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk )

I am good at it, but that’s not what I love..

It took me a while to understand or to believe that this can exist. What I am talking about here is the feeling of being so good at doing something that you feel ‘this is what I was meant for’. But in no time you tend to get tired of the routine and look over the fence to explore further, that’s when the hating process starts. Everything seems to add to your sorrow and in the end you just want to go float in the pool face down!

For me it’s my messed up career. I want to try this, do that, work here, become that and so on. Why do I get that thinking?! God, why can’t I just have one focused route that would make my life so much easier. I need a guardian angel who would clear out all the chaos and make my journey so smooth and successful….But wait! That’s not even close to reality. If I want to make things work in my favor I need to fix it myself. In other words, be my own ‘guardian angel’. I don’t want to sound like a motivational speaker or a mentor, but in short what I mean is ‘It’s your life, you created the mess and you need to sort it out’…

That’s when I realized if I am good at something that doesn’t mean I love doing it, I maybe just diversely smart (if that makes sense). Some people are really lucky to have career that is their passion basically getting paid for what they love doing. And here I am figuring out what I really love and want to get paid for out of all the 1000 things I wish to do. I am pretty sure there are many out there who are confused, lost, insecure and afraid about their future. And we just keep thinking and worrying about it so much that we don’t go out and try the things on our list, just afraid of failing or getting embarrassed.

But now, I don’t want to feel that anymore. I soo need to just get out of that barrier and try the things I wish to have a career in… Starting Today I will work on my priorities and have a career in what I feel I am so good at, even without having a degree in. Well, for me it’s having my own bakery. I love baking and trying out combinations of foods. It’s been with me since my school days and now I have finally realized and joined the dots to recognizing my ‘forte’..

Let’s just get out there and try everything we wish to do without thinking about the result. And just go on striking off the items on the list until you’re left out with what you love to do for the rest of your life. #daretoliveyourdream

~Shahana

Rant of Influenced choices!

An exam rant : “I never should have signed up for this. I never should have taken up this. I knew I did’nt like studying for this and still I went through it. I should not have taken up something I truly know I am not interested in.”
The only two ways studying can be done is through focus or through interest. Tell your mind to do something that has neither, and all you have is heaps of procrastination and major sense of ‘taking-things-lightly’.
Well yes, I don’t take things seriously. That’s what it is. I take things for granted. I don’t push myself harder everytime I should be and I eventually give things up easily. That’s how I am, although thats not how I should reason/deal with myself, but that’s how I see things now. I know that I guess I wont change for the better if I don’t force myself into creating an interest or focus for what ever I signed up for  – but guess what, it isn’t happening.
Reason? The mind already KNOWS that it doesn’t like what it’s doing or supposed to do. It leaves it. Yes. Mine does – it leaves it. I cannot push myself further if I don’t like what I’m doing. Even so, I would need this external push. IOW I am NOT a self-serving person I need to be pushed to be self-served. Thats just how I was moulded into. After 21 years of being moulded into a horse you cannot order the animal to suddenly evolve iinto the characteristics of a tiger (strange.and.silly. inappropriate.animal.comparison intended here)
Yes, some characteristics evolve with time – timid children can grow up to have loud and outgoing characs and chatty children can grow up to be the wise and sound-in-knowledge characs. But the WAY they grew up is always IN them – that can be disguised with time but it cannot be made rid of.
Point is, no matter what choices we make, we do indeed get influenced by others and their advice.. but not all the choices laid out to you is what you need. Those choices you get, can always be not suitable for you, it can always NOT match your inner personality.
What you are now (over the age of 20, I suppose) is what you have become through the many influences you have faced throughout these years. But there is also that personality IN us, that cannot be influenced – that has not been influenced – that has not been tampered with – but disguised with many layers of opinions and influences of OTHERS.
So what now? Well, its time we twenties start paving our path. Pick up a chisel and start chipping off those choices you KNOW you don’t need. Start choosing the choices which you know it would lead you to what YOU like and what YOU find interested in.
“One other way to find yourself, is to lose that don’t define who you are or who you want to be”
Cheers,
Arunya xx