Pressure: Bae for LIFE!

Hello you people reading.. Brace yourselves for this rant that you are about to waste the coming few minutes on!!

Every being on earth has a tough life obviously cause that’s the bloody essence to survive, okay I get it BUT why do other things like: Time, Age, MONEY, Geography, Emotional Parents, and other freaking people who you don’t even know have to add to this already so tough life of yours that you are struggling to live?! Why? Just whhyy…

I come from a moderately conservative family, and I am very much okay with that. I was always allowed to do what I wish but with T&C’s lol, which is fair okay I get the worries. But when I am being such a nice person understanding all that, Why am I taken for granted? for being so understanding? It should be the other way around, I should be more trusted and allowed to make decisions that obviously are reliable and practical. However, that sadly isn’t the case. So do you get the level of frustration a person who is sensible with average IQ and BIG FAT DREAMS/AIMS/GOALS, has to undergo for no real reason? Like seriously!

You finish school, finish university and even grad school for what bruv? to freaking get a career not the ones of the millionaires but reach at a fair level you have worked so hard for. All these years you wait to reach this stage when you slog to find a job and settle down career wise. But NO, it’s time to get married, be a wife and start a family…Yuhhuu What fun! (no offence maybe it’s fun and is a dream for some, but not mine at the moment). Oh when you say no to that, You apparently have never ever followed your family or society or the freaking way of life. Like whaaat??!! Apparently anything you wish to do, you can do it after Marriage with your Husband! Yay that seems so possible…

And the best part, you don’t even get a job why? cause the market is down. Sure bruv you can be down and low as it can get but why now? and why you taking forever? Doesn’t the economy have 1 freakin job (or 2, for ma friend too). Anybody at this situation would move out and look elsewhere or maybe enjoy the vacay! But Na’a moving out is a huge step for you and the only next step is to be wife (woot woot). Okay so you try to destress by meeting your friends, shopping or any other thing you would do which will obviously cost you and make you spend them bucks on, but Hello hold on dahling! Your bank account is on freaking maternity leave!

Now you are drowning with emotions, but positive tumblr life quotes got you! Your optimist bar just rises and some nobody; your neighbor, or a relative who had been MIA all their life comes into the scene all so alarmed trying to save your life gives these oh so wise advices to you and family about how my age isn’t proportionate to what I’m doing with my life. ‘You need to settle down soon, your parents need a break’, ‘Just do some job for now anyway you gonna be home multitasking household chores’, ‘You won’t find good guys if you delay so much’, ‘Don’t know why her parents even listen to her, kids delay but they must know’ – People! I understand how worried you are about me, I really appreciated your non-existence in my life before so let’s maintain that in future too!

So you are in your bed going through insta and checking out vlogs on Youtube, and you hear mumbling from the other room. Who them? My family, Saying what? How they are so worried about me (which basically is my marriage). Like if you all haven’t got it yet – Marriage is what I was born for peeps! *emoji with the shades on*. Okay so I understand that has been yours and every other person’s dream to get me married HURRAY! But hold on a tad bit, it won’t harm you for sure I know!

It’s so simple, yet so hard for anybody to understand that – Marriage, Job, Family and Death (lol) doesn’t need a specific time, location, age, financial status, or societal pressure to be scheduled in one’s life! If I’m happy and I feel I’m settled then I’m obviously open to how others want to take the wheel of my life. Right now I’m not, how hard is it to see that Ya’ll? Stop this pressure, give it time. Let us figure out life first, just stop this unhappy cribbing for a while! It’s so uncalled for.. On one side (online) you see these posts about Feminism and Career Success and on the other side (the reality) you are literally fighting amongst so many emotions and killing yourself inside. The worst part, it’s not because of you that you are in this stress.. It’s the people, the pressures they bring into your life. When will this stop?! I can go on and on ranting, but I know the next minute I post this I’m going back to the physics of life – trying to position my age and life stage at equilibrium. Byyee..

 

Image Source: disney.wikia.com

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The day I met a newborn and a beautiful realization strikes.

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Saturday Morning, we met a family friend’s new born baby.
We’ve known her for quite some time, was even baby-sitting her first born for quite some time. Talking about the first born, we now get to know she is one mischievous little one, Those stories her mom tells about her mischievous acts on playground and supermarkets are so hilarious you might even even wonder if she is this high-profile ninja in-the-making.
So as we finally found our way inside the hospital and inside the room of the friend. Considering the many times we’ve visited a hospital – this was THE one time – I know I could be happy about the result –  that reason by itself had the ‘cherish-able’ feeling.
Once we finally found our way through the many rooms, we entered the room of our friend and her baby.
And then.. all I felt in the room was magic.
That same yet greater ‘cherishable’ feeling that cannot be reasoned based on scientific facts or religious beliefs.
A mere realization of how much process goes into the making of a life and more importantly when you understand how much power a woman has in bringing out a life that has been nurtured for around 280 days/40 weeks/ 9 months!
                     
(ps: discussed this with a colleague she suggested to to check this post – and it just adds the greater awe to this fact –  ‘Lennart Nilsson – A Swedish Photographer’s work’ – <http://www.unbelievable-facts.com/2014/03/lennart-nilsson-swedish-photographer.html> )
         (pps: please excuse the girl in her twenties realizing this flabbergasting fact in her head ATM!!!)
So, back to where I was…
After all that this woman has gone through in that amount of time, you see the smile on her face welcoming us in (how do they do it?!?) aaand more evidently next to her is a cradle in which you see those tiny pink feet popping out though the many layers of pink blankets.
Yep, I felt it.
Of course, there are many billion women and mothers who you have seen or experienced this by themselves or for their sister/friends/daughters- but maybe because this is the first time I’ve known a friend go through the same and so I felt it more.
What you may ask? That power of giving/creating life.
It may be just the nature of science or a blessing of how we are created – but it’s still one of those precious moments that enriches the experiences in our life.
Since it was the first time for me, it made me quite emotional – just the thought of how little our human minds maybe but there also exists a power superior to us that gives us, women the power to give life –  is it not beautiful?
A beautiful realization indeed. Those tiny hands and such pink skin.. This little one was inside her for 9 months and she is finally out to the world. The whole concept seems so magical – and only then you tell yourself – we humans are definitely not the limit or the end – there is a power superior to us, humans – again, some point towards science some point towards God. Whichever you would like to believe in, we as humans should be grateful for what we are than take our life for granted….and yet at times we do take it all for granted, don’t we? – Now that would be another discussion for later.
On that note, its over and out from,
Arunya

Lesson Learned : Magic no exist

Lesson Learned : There isn’t a magic wand tool in our world. No matter how hard or easy things get. We cannot swish a wand away to banish them off. They stick to you. Stick to you till you get down on your knees and surrender to solving this issue/s. They show you that it does indeed have the power of controlling you IF you choose to ignore it or pretend it does not exist – But yet, are you going to let it? Are you going to let it control you?Are you going to let it over power your mental ability to slash off this slavery to excuses? You’re thinking – well maybe because I have no choice – ‘No choice’ is such a cliche. Choices are there. They just aren’t the choices you aren’t willing to make. They aren’t just what you want to opt. It’s ultimately your decision – but here, here what are we doing now – are we just choosing to break lose or are we going to let the power of excuses grow onto us? 
 
In the more realistic world, I have a ‘let it be’ mindset. If some of you are like me then this is what we do – we trick our minds to believe that a magical world exists and that there is some magic somewhere that you might just stumble across that would change our minds and our issues – we read, we listen, we try to understand and eventually we choose to ignore, we distract our minds, we pretend they don’t exist – and eventually we let these excuses slowly gobble up the only time we have to prove our own minds wrong. 
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Our constant search for what is better – what can be improved, what ‘could’ be better is basically letting us fall into a phase of hope. Well, for beginners, yes hope is needed…but what if we have to keep hoping for things to get better – for good changes to happen.Then we wait. We wait and wait. Just waiting for too long and as time passes – you continue to hope.
Only when I stopped to hope it struck me wait, although I wanted and hope for change- what did I do to make the change? What was my effort in it ? Oh yes, I hoped  – so..is that all? I thought, don’t I want the hope shown as results..?
 
Look up at where you going than down hoping that magic still lies somewhere to show it self. No NO NO. You are your magic. The effort you put in to recreate your hope is the real deal.  No one else does it for you. No external power, no magical power…just YOU. 
Arunya

Cooking? – Ah so easy! (and so we assume)

So, I used to have this notion that cooking is just hmm, kind of eaaaasy – you just mix and swish and mix and swish.. you’ve got some masalas and you some how get a curry. Honestly, I’m not a keen cook, I do not have enough patience for me to spend half a day or even more than 2 hours on cooking..well yea my mom would probably argue at that statement saying “you are sooo young, when you get the situation.. you will leaarrnn and you will be bettterrrr with time”. Well, mommy is mommy indeed.
One thing to add about taste here, no offense to the high class restaurants but I would promise on anything that home-made traditional cooking skills are much much MUCH better than the same traditional dishes you try at “authentic restaurants”, and trust me, that IS the truth. Those trial and errors, those ‘adjusted curries’ with their secret tricks and tactics? — yup, THAT is also what makes home-based cooking skills way better. 
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But yes, back to my ‘notion’ – I used to think cooking is just Grade 8 science. You know, its just an easy experiment of the ingredients and the time and some extra ingredients.. oh that’s easy.. and mainly I use to think “one can never make it to become a bad-cook.. like, you obviously work it out.” –  You are the programmer in making that dish.. you are in full control of what you put in that dish on the cooker. So if it tastes bad-ish, there is always a way out like, ” hey, don’t worry about too much salt in your dish,pour more water, dilute it, add more chilly powder and some other masalas and you are good enough”, or if it doesn’t taste good you CAN make it right and if the curry does taste good then great! – you’ve achieved some great cooking skills.
But me? – nope. After today – after some very poor cooking experiments, “bad cooking” does exists! Forget ‘learning through experience’ and using recipe books or watching cooking channels – my cooking skills CANNOT be.. cannot be.. eh.. well it cannot be even called cooking.. well on second thought… obviously my curries are going to turn out bad if I have the mindset, I mentioned above ^, but YET, I mean it really amazes me how well some young people can cook. Now let me not critique on those kid-cooking shows, but watching those skilled kiddos cook – one think can more a less be confirmed – I don’t think I can survive on my own cooking skills (But you kiddos, need some applause for those skills) .
Now that my rant of inside the kitchen is over, I come out to rest and I think – ‘ohhh noo, I’ve got to eat that tooo’. Ahh well, good luck to my sister for trying out my failed science experiments.. well, we need dinner in anyway.
Off and out,
Arunya

“There was a time I believed in luck and signs”

“Yes, this is it. I am changing my thinking. I am changing myself “, is something you hear quite often when a new year comes. And this year I took some time to analyze something about me – My Thinking / My Thinking Process. 

There was once a time I believed in luck and signs, but as always when you grow older your perceptions change and your mind gets introduced to different worlds and wider perspectives. This made me change into “science-believer” , I started trusted my instincts on practical thinking and practical solutions.

There is actually nothing like proving yourself with facts that led you to situations you face or overcame. The understanding of whys and hows – just that feeling of believing that you know you CAN change your mind, your decisions and the way you take actions. But recently, sole scientific thinking hasn’t helped much. My mind fell everywhere. I had so many practical solutions to my problems that I couldn’t find a solutions suitable to MY feelings, MY ability and MY emotional balance. Being practical does make you realize the FACTS. It does helps reality to slap you in the face and say – “get your hopes low – plan your future and get those actions done!” . And so I, had let myself down. I didn’t think I needed the balance then. Instead of learning to balance two kinds of thinking processes – I chose one from another. I chose to let go of the luck-based-emotional thinking (A-thinking) behind and I followed the action-based emotional thinking (B-thinking).
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Unfortunately, it’s not a game for your mind to take sides on which type of thinking should be chosen or not – or if chosen it would be more successful than the other. And then you begin to realize, tweaking our mind process to your wish does not NECESSARILY get you a “re-start” to life. It is unfortunately and yet again, all about striking a mental  and emotional balance.
  1. You need that strength to create those actions and a source of faith to keep you committed – also you do really, really really, really, REALLY need to trust yourself.
  2. You as an individual would need BOTH in very fixed quantities that switch only in the level of priority, depending on your situation. At a given moment, you may need A-thinking over B-thinking, and at another time it would be vise-versa.
And so I’m off.
(Coming, from someone who may speak and write what is right, but might just be living the opposite.)
-Arunya
“It’s your life-but only if you make it so.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Pathways to your passion?

If only we had a formula to follow through our life… wouldn’t you think our decisions would be much easier to make?

Wouldn’t you wonder why can’t things be as easy as people say when they say “you know, life is just a simple process.. follow your passion and you will get through easily”.. OH, IF ONLY!

For me ofcourse, I would say my fairy godmother used too many colours to paint my freaking pathway.

Like seriously, my pathways are always confused with too many interests.. they are always vague, varied and versatile (alliteration! ha! :).  I cannot see myself focus on ONE  thing at ONE time, and they just EXPIRE withing weeks of just entering my dreamy-mind.

In any given comparison of people with people, I always saw two kinds of people on the pathway to their passion.

One, the extremely focused one.. will do one after the other since school, highschool, college or uni or work or masters and just on and on. Picks up long-term choices and aims to be committed and complete each of this long-term choices with their complete committment.
Then there is another who takes the next step as it comes and when it comes. They aren’t focused on one specific pathway, but they just pick up interests along their life, believe thatwhatever small choices they make in their pathway will somehow lead to a passion that they would love doing 5-6 years later.

While the first set of people, although they may be leading a standard yet continuing pathway, they are indeed used to being committed to one thing at a time, and so have less chances of feeling lost.

But unfortunately for the latter self, picking out those interests along the way isn’t as easy as it sounds, you could eventually lose interest and master the ability of not being abl to stay committed to one interest for more than a certain period of time.

Although these are the process, ultimately we look at the end result isn’t it?.. we will only dream about how and has the process led to that stage where you feel like the pathway was worth the final stage, right?

But the problem is… which process of the pathway is RIGHT? – the focused, committed yet standard (maybe boring) pathway to your passion OR the let-it-come-as-it-comes , fun, yet risky pathway to where you want to be?

Well, I am the latter (and now I need to stalk my fairy godmother and see why she hasn’t colour co-ordinated my pathways yet) .

All I can sum this up to is this folllowing quote :

” You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside: You are the person who makes up you mind, whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are”
Edgar A, Guest

Our life, Our choice. Choosing a pathway to your passion by far depends only on us, and our choices. Whether it’s a short term choice or long term, we can proceed in our pathway if we take the iniative to make these choices. There isn’t any fixed formulas to fill our lives with the passions we dream of.. its only made of the little choices we take the effort to make.

Cheers,

Arunya