Pressure: Bae for LIFE!

Hello you people reading.. Brace yourselves for this rant that you are about to waste the coming few minutes on!!

Every being on earth has a tough life obviously cause that’s the bloody essence to survive, okay I get it BUT why do other things like: Time, Age, MONEY, Geography, Emotional Parents, and other freaking people who you don’t even know have to add to this already so tough life of yours that you are struggling to live?! Why? Just whhyy…

I come from a moderately conservative family, and I am very much okay with that. I was always allowed to do what I wish but with T&C’s lol, which is fair okay I get the worries. But when I am being such a nice person understanding all that, Why am I taken for granted? for being so understanding? It should be the other way around, I should be more trusted and allowed to make decisions that obviously are reliable and practical. However, that sadly isn’t the case. So do you get the level of frustration a person who is sensible with average IQ and BIG FAT DREAMS/AIMS/GOALS, has to undergo for no real reason? Like seriously!

You finish school, finish university and even grad school for what bruv? to freaking get a career not the ones of the millionaires but reach at a fair level you have worked so hard for. All these years you wait to reach this stage when you slog to find a job and settle down career wise. But NO, it’s time to get married, be a wife and start a family…Yuhhuu What fun! (no offence maybe it’s fun and is a dream for some, but not mine at the moment). Oh when you say no to that, You apparently have never ever followed your family or society or the freaking way of life. Like whaaat??!! Apparently anything you wish to do, you can do it after Marriage with your Husband! Yay that seems so possible…

And the best part, you don’t even get a job why? cause the market is down. Sure bruv you can be down and low as it can get but why now? and why you taking forever? Doesn’t the economy have 1 freakin job (or 2, for ma friend too). Anybody at this situation would move out and look elsewhere or maybe enjoy the vacay! But Na’a moving out is a huge step for you and the only next step is to be wife (woot woot). Okay so you try to destress by meeting your friends, shopping or any other thing you would do which will obviously cost you and make you spend them bucks on, but Hello hold on dahling! Your bank account is on freaking maternity leave!

Now you are drowning with emotions, but positive tumblr life quotes got you! Your optimist bar just rises and some nobody; your neighbor, or a relative who had been MIA all their life comes into the scene all so alarmed trying to save your life gives these oh so wise advices to you and family about how my age isn’t proportionate to what I’m doing with my life. ‘You need to settle down soon, your parents need a break’, ‘Just do some job for now anyway you gonna be home multitasking household chores’, ‘You won’t find good guys if you delay so much’, ‘Don’t know why her parents even listen to her, kids delay but they must know’ – People! I understand how worried you are about me, I really appreciated your non-existence in my life before so let’s maintain that in future too!

So you are in your bed going through insta and checking out vlogs on Youtube, and you hear mumbling from the other room. Who them? My family, Saying what? How they are so worried about me (which basically is my marriage). Like if you all haven’t got it yet – Marriage is what I was born for peeps! *emoji with the shades on*. Okay so I understand that has been yours and every other person’s dream to get me married HURRAY! But hold on a tad bit, it won’t harm you for sure I know!

It’s so simple, yet so hard for anybody to understand that – Marriage, Job, Family and Death (lol) doesn’t need a specific time, location, age, financial status, or societal pressure to be scheduled in one’s life! If I’m happy and I feel I’m settled then I’m obviously open to how others want to take the wheel of my life. Right now I’m not, how hard is it to see that Ya’ll? Stop this pressure, give it time. Let us figure out life first, just stop this unhappy cribbing for a while! It’s so uncalled for.. On one side (online) you see these posts about Feminism and Career Success and on the other side (the reality) you are literally fighting amongst so many emotions and killing yourself inside. The worst part, it’s not because of you that you are in this stress.. It’s the people, the pressures they bring into your life. When will this stop?! I can go on and on ranting, but I know the next minute I post this I’m going back to the physics of life – trying to position my age and life stage at equilibrium. Byyee..

 

Image Source: disney.wikia.com

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It’s been a while since my last post for reasons inevitable! Surprising to me how quickly my life has changed its track to another more complex one. I finally joined grad school, wrote my first MBA exam and now planning to move out to Scotland for the rest of my course 🙂 How smooth…

Well the moving out is not as easy! Yes of course cause it’s a huge move and majorly cause I’m having a conflict between emotional vs professional choices. It’s an everyday battle between Yes and No. People ask why even have No as an option? And they are right, to an extent. But me, not that easy to convince. I have a 1000 other concerns that don’t even weigh equivalent to the benefits of moving out to a new country and the exposure I would hold for the rest of my life. I am just not used to leaving my family and being all alone and missing them and my pet and and and… I now understand why dad used to get so emotional (disinterested) in travelling for work even if it was just for 2 days. I got my offer letter, scholarship grant, wrote not such a bad exam, and I’m still in my thinking process (basically stage 1 of making a decision).

“You’ve come so far, why do you need to rethink?!”, “This is an opportunity that will define your future”, “You’re gonna regret if you back out now!!” – Everything what my parents/friends/advisers have to say. I know they are a 100% right, but I really don’t know why I am still not convinced. Oh, and the best part is given the option of not going, I feel I am wasting my life not moving out. GODD!! It’s so complicated for me I have asked everyone a 100 times they are just exhausted even talking to me (lol). I have passed my due date for confirmation, got an extension, I haavvee to decide today! Its high time.. (my mental process everyday)… In the morning: I am going, it’s good for me in every way. And towards the evening: Why do I have to leave home, why can’t I just do it online?!.. (I’m literally worried about my mental health now).

You see how overwhelming and crazy this situation is for me. I am so lost and I still can’t make up my mind. Even at the end of this post my brain is basically on airplane mode! But all I know is whatever decision I finally make I will work out something productive for sure, wherever I am 🙂

~Shahana

Pathways to your passion?

If only we had a formula to follow through our life… wouldn’t you think our decisions would be much easier to make?

Wouldn’t you wonder why can’t things be as easy as people say when they say “you know, life is just a simple process.. follow your passion and you will get through easily”.. OH, IF ONLY!

For me ofcourse, I would say my fairy godmother used too many colours to paint my freaking pathway.

Like seriously, my pathways are always confused with too many interests.. they are always vague, varied and versatile (alliteration! ha! :).  I cannot see myself focus on ONE  thing at ONE time, and they just EXPIRE withing weeks of just entering my dreamy-mind.

In any given comparison of people with people, I always saw two kinds of people on the pathway to their passion.

One, the extremely focused one.. will do one after the other since school, highschool, college or uni or work or masters and just on and on. Picks up long-term choices and aims to be committed and complete each of this long-term choices with their complete committment.
Then there is another who takes the next step as it comes and when it comes. They aren’t focused on one specific pathway, but they just pick up interests along their life, believe thatwhatever small choices they make in their pathway will somehow lead to a passion that they would love doing 5-6 years later.

While the first set of people, although they may be leading a standard yet continuing pathway, they are indeed used to being committed to one thing at a time, and so have less chances of feeling lost.

But unfortunately for the latter self, picking out those interests along the way isn’t as easy as it sounds, you could eventually lose interest and master the ability of not being abl to stay committed to one interest for more than a certain period of time.

Although these are the process, ultimately we look at the end result isn’t it?.. we will only dream about how and has the process led to that stage where you feel like the pathway was worth the final stage, right?

But the problem is… which process of the pathway is RIGHT? – the focused, committed yet standard (maybe boring) pathway to your passion OR the let-it-come-as-it-comes , fun, yet risky pathway to where you want to be?

Well, I am the latter (and now I need to stalk my fairy godmother and see why she hasn’t colour co-ordinated my pathways yet) .

All I can sum this up to is this folllowing quote :

” You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside: You are the person who makes up you mind, whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are”
Edgar A, Guest

Our life, Our choice. Choosing a pathway to your passion by far depends only on us, and our choices. Whether it’s a short term choice or long term, we can proceed in our pathway if we take the iniative to make these choices. There isn’t any fixed formulas to fill our lives with the passions we dream of.. its only made of the little choices we take the effort to make.

Cheers,

Arunya

Balance!

Its all about that balance.
One can be completely passionate about something they truly enjoy doing, but what could bring more satisfaction would be to manage that balance. Finally things are starting to heat up in my routine , I can finally tell myself maybe this is how things should go. But then some other event comes up and I start to think wait, maybe I should concentrate more on that than this, maybe since I like that more I should spend more of my time and effort and  thoughts on that factor than another I am forced to do.
Yest we visited my Bro’s suit designer. Boy, was she one passionate designer! The excitement when she looks at the suit, the details , the specifics of the material, stitching, how the suit should look when bro stands, walk, sits, front view, backview side ways, in angle and also how it should look indoors and outdoors – *phew* But as much as she has been involved in this 14year passion/ career path ;  she has an extremely beautiful house, a sweet family with two kids and just looked like a balance – . Now, I’m sure, she does have to go through a lot to manage them.. she spoke about losing out on family time with her husband who is also highly passionate about his career, two pre-schooling kids, her clients – their specifications, alterations and what not. This got me thinking.. as young yet-to-discover-ourselves ladies, why are we stressing so much about our paths?
The issue is – we as young, still-free, independent women/ladies/young adults shouldn’t stress so much about the ‘focus’. Its not about how much STRESS is involved in what you are involved in, but it’s about the Effort you take to create and manage the ‘focus’  you put yourself into. This ‘focus’ can be something you are passionate about – your work, your hobby, an activity, – just anything you enjoy doing without stressing out on the fact that you ARE DOING IT – this is your focus. But next? — it’s the Effort; ie how much we can physically involve ourselves into this focus.
The ball is on your side…. the decision to kick it for a goal or to pass it on to a team mate or to just stare at it until the opponent kicks it away from you – is yours.
-Arunya