Pressure: Bae for LIFE!

Hello you people reading.. Brace yourselves for this rant that you are about to waste the coming few minutes on!!

Every being on earth has a tough life obviously cause that’s the bloody essence to survive, okay I get it BUT why do other things like: Time, Age, MONEY, Geography, Emotional Parents, and other freaking people who you don’t even know have to add to this already so tough life of yours that you are struggling to live?! Why? Just whhyy…

I come from a moderately conservative family, and I am very much okay with that. I was always allowed to do what I wish but with T&C’s lol, which is fair okay I get the worries. But when I am being such a nice person understanding all that, Why am I taken for granted? for being so understanding? It should be the other way around, I should be more trusted and allowed to make decisions that obviously are reliable and practical. However, that sadly isn’t the case. So do you get the level of frustration a person who is sensible with average IQ and BIG FAT DREAMS/AIMS/GOALS, has to undergo for no real reason? Like seriously!

You finish school, finish university and even grad school for what bruv? to freaking get a career not the ones of the millionaires but reach at a fair level you have worked so hard for. All these years you wait to reach this stage when you slog to find a job and settle down career wise. But NO, it’s time to get married, be a wife and start a family…Yuhhuu What fun! (no offence maybe it’s fun and is a dream for some, but not mine at the moment). Oh when you say no to that, You apparently have never ever followed your family or society or the freaking way of life. Like whaaat??!! Apparently anything you wish to do, you can do it after Marriage with your Husband! Yay that seems so possible…

And the best part, you don’t even get a job why? cause the market is down. Sure bruv you can be down and low as it can get but why now? and why you taking forever? Doesn’t the economy have 1 freakin job (or 2, for ma friend too). Anybody at this situation would move out and look elsewhere or maybe enjoy the vacay! But Na’a moving out is a huge step for you and the only next step is to be wife (woot woot). Okay so you try to destress by meeting your friends, shopping or any other thing you would do which will obviously cost you and make you spend them bucks on, but Hello hold on dahling! Your bank account is on freaking maternity leave!

Now you are drowning with emotions, but positive tumblr life quotes got you! Your optimist bar just rises and some nobody; your neighbor, or a relative who had been MIA all their life comes into the scene all so alarmed trying to save your life gives these oh so wise advices to you and family about how my age isn’t proportionate to what I’m doing with my life. ‘You need to settle down soon, your parents need a break’, ‘Just do some job for now anyway you gonna be home multitasking household chores’, ‘You won’t find good guys if you delay so much’, ‘Don’t know why her parents even listen to her, kids delay but they must know’ – People! I understand how worried you are about me, I really appreciated your non-existence in my life before so let’s maintain that in future too!

So you are in your bed going through insta and checking out vlogs on Youtube, and you hear mumbling from the other room. Who them? My family, Saying what? How they are so worried about me (which basically is my marriage). Like if you all haven’t got it yet – Marriage is what I was born for peeps! *emoji with the shades on*. Okay so I understand that has been yours and every other person’s dream to get me married HURRAY! But hold on a tad bit, it won’t harm you for sure I know!

It’s so simple, yet so hard for anybody to understand that – Marriage, Job, Family and Death (lol) doesn’t need a specific time, location, age, financial status, or societal pressure to be scheduled in one’s life! If I’m happy and I feel I’m settled then I’m obviously open to how others want to take the wheel of my life. Right now I’m not, how hard is it to see that Ya’ll? Stop this pressure, give it time. Let us figure out life first, just stop this unhappy cribbing for a while! It’s so uncalled for.. On one side (online) you see these posts about Feminism and Career Success and on the other side (the reality) you are literally fighting amongst so many emotions and killing yourself inside. The worst part, it’s not because of you that you are in this stress.. It’s the people, the pressures they bring into your life. When will this stop?! I can go on and on ranting, but I know the next minute I post this I’m going back to the physics of life – trying to position my age and life stage at equilibrium. Byyee..

 

Image Source: disney.wikia.com

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Lesson Learned : Magic no exist

Lesson Learned : There isn’t a magic wand tool in our world. No matter how hard or easy things get. We cannot swish a wand away to banish them off. They stick to you. Stick to you till you get down on your knees and surrender to solving this issue/s. They show you that it does indeed have the power of controlling you IF you choose to ignore it or pretend it does not exist – But yet, are you going to let it? Are you going to let it control you?Are you going to let it over power your mental ability to slash off this slavery to excuses? You’re thinking – well maybe because I have no choice – ‘No choice’ is such a cliche. Choices are there. They just aren’t the choices you aren’t willing to make. They aren’t just what you want to opt. It’s ultimately your decision – but here, here what are we doing now – are we just choosing to break lose or are we going to let the power of excuses grow onto us? 
 
In the more realistic world, I have a ‘let it be’ mindset. If some of you are like me then this is what we do – we trick our minds to believe that a magical world exists and that there is some magic somewhere that you might just stumble across that would change our minds and our issues – we read, we listen, we try to understand and eventually we choose to ignore, we distract our minds, we pretend they don’t exist – and eventually we let these excuses slowly gobble up the only time we have to prove our own minds wrong. 
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Our constant search for what is better – what can be improved, what ‘could’ be better is basically letting us fall into a phase of hope. Well, for beginners, yes hope is needed…but what if we have to keep hoping for things to get better – for good changes to happen.Then we wait. We wait and wait. Just waiting for too long and as time passes – you continue to hope.
Only when I stopped to hope it struck me wait, although I wanted and hope for change- what did I do to make the change? What was my effort in it ? Oh yes, I hoped  – so..is that all? I thought, don’t I want the hope shown as results..?
 
Look up at where you going than down hoping that magic still lies somewhere to show it self. No NO NO. You are your magic. The effort you put in to recreate your hope is the real deal.  No one else does it for you. No external power, no magical power…just YOU. 
Arunya

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It’s been a while since my last post for reasons inevitable! Surprising to me how quickly my life has changed its track to another more complex one. I finally joined grad school, wrote my first MBA exam and now planning to move out to Scotland for the rest of my course 🙂 How smooth…

Well the moving out is not as easy! Yes of course cause it’s a huge move and majorly cause I’m having a conflict between emotional vs professional choices. It’s an everyday battle between Yes and No. People ask why even have No as an option? And they are right, to an extent. But me, not that easy to convince. I have a 1000 other concerns that don’t even weigh equivalent to the benefits of moving out to a new country and the exposure I would hold for the rest of my life. I am just not used to leaving my family and being all alone and missing them and my pet and and and… I now understand why dad used to get so emotional (disinterested) in travelling for work even if it was just for 2 days. I got my offer letter, scholarship grant, wrote not such a bad exam, and I’m still in my thinking process (basically stage 1 of making a decision).

“You’ve come so far, why do you need to rethink?!”, “This is an opportunity that will define your future”, “You’re gonna regret if you back out now!!” – Everything what my parents/friends/advisers have to say. I know they are a 100% right, but I really don’t know why I am still not convinced. Oh, and the best part is given the option of not going, I feel I am wasting my life not moving out. GODD!! It’s so complicated for me I have asked everyone a 100 times they are just exhausted even talking to me (lol). I have passed my due date for confirmation, got an extension, I haavvee to decide today! Its high time.. (my mental process everyday)… In the morning: I am going, it’s good for me in every way. And towards the evening: Why do I have to leave home, why can’t I just do it online?!.. (I’m literally worried about my mental health now).

You see how overwhelming and crazy this situation is for me. I am so lost and I still can’t make up my mind. Even at the end of this post my brain is basically on airplane mode! But all I know is whatever decision I finally make I will work out something productive for sure, wherever I am 🙂

~Shahana

Rant of Influenced choices!

An exam rant : “I never should have signed up for this. I never should have taken up this. I knew I did’nt like studying for this and still I went through it. I should not have taken up something I truly know I am not interested in.”
The only two ways studying can be done is through focus or through interest. Tell your mind to do something that has neither, and all you have is heaps of procrastination and major sense of ‘taking-things-lightly’.
Well yes, I don’t take things seriously. That’s what it is. I take things for granted. I don’t push myself harder everytime I should be and I eventually give things up easily. That’s how I am, although thats not how I should reason/deal with myself, but that’s how I see things now. I know that I guess I wont change for the better if I don’t force myself into creating an interest or focus for what ever I signed up for  – but guess what, it isn’t happening.
Reason? The mind already KNOWS that it doesn’t like what it’s doing or supposed to do. It leaves it. Yes. Mine does – it leaves it. I cannot push myself further if I don’t like what I’m doing. Even so, I would need this external push. IOW I am NOT a self-serving person I need to be pushed to be self-served. Thats just how I was moulded into. After 21 years of being moulded into a horse you cannot order the animal to suddenly evolve iinto the characteristics of a tiger (strange.and.silly. inappropriate.animal.comparison intended here)
Yes, some characteristics evolve with time – timid children can grow up to have loud and outgoing characs and chatty children can grow up to be the wise and sound-in-knowledge characs. But the WAY they grew up is always IN them – that can be disguised with time but it cannot be made rid of.
Point is, no matter what choices we make, we do indeed get influenced by others and their advice.. but not all the choices laid out to you is what you need. Those choices you get, can always be not suitable for you, it can always NOT match your inner personality.
What you are now (over the age of 20, I suppose) is what you have become through the many influences you have faced throughout these years. But there is also that personality IN us, that cannot be influenced – that has not been influenced – that has not been tampered with – but disguised with many layers of opinions and influences of OTHERS.
So what now? Well, its time we twenties start paving our path. Pick up a chisel and start chipping off those choices you KNOW you don’t need. Start choosing the choices which you know it would lead you to what YOU like and what YOU find interested in.
“One other way to find yourself, is to lose that don’t define who you are or who you want to be”
Cheers,
Arunya xx

Balance!

Its all about that balance.
One can be completely passionate about something they truly enjoy doing, but what could bring more satisfaction would be to manage that balance. Finally things are starting to heat up in my routine , I can finally tell myself maybe this is how things should go. But then some other event comes up and I start to think wait, maybe I should concentrate more on that than this, maybe since I like that more I should spend more of my time and effort and  thoughts on that factor than another I am forced to do.
Yest we visited my Bro’s suit designer. Boy, was she one passionate designer! The excitement when she looks at the suit, the details , the specifics of the material, stitching, how the suit should look when bro stands, walk, sits, front view, backview side ways, in angle and also how it should look indoors and outdoors – *phew* But as much as she has been involved in this 14year passion/ career path ;  she has an extremely beautiful house, a sweet family with two kids and just looked like a balance – . Now, I’m sure, she does have to go through a lot to manage them.. she spoke about losing out on family time with her husband who is also highly passionate about his career, two pre-schooling kids, her clients – their specifications, alterations and what not. This got me thinking.. as young yet-to-discover-ourselves ladies, why are we stressing so much about our paths?
The issue is – we as young, still-free, independent women/ladies/young adults shouldn’t stress so much about the ‘focus’. Its not about how much STRESS is involved in what you are involved in, but it’s about the Effort you take to create and manage the ‘focus’  you put yourself into. This ‘focus’ can be something you are passionate about – your work, your hobby, an activity, – just anything you enjoy doing without stressing out on the fact that you ARE DOING IT – this is your focus. But next? — it’s the Effort; ie how much we can physically involve ourselves into this focus.
The ball is on your side…. the decision to kick it for a goal or to pass it on to a team mate or to just stare at it until the opponent kicks it away from you – is yours.
-Arunya