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It’s been a while since my last post for reasons inevitable! Surprising to me how quickly my life has changed its track to another more complex one. I finally joined grad school, wrote my first MBA exam and now planning to move out to Scotland for the rest of my course 🙂 How smooth…

Well the moving out is not as easy! Yes of course cause it’s a huge move and majorly cause I’m having a conflict between emotional vs professional choices. It’s an everyday battle between Yes and No. People ask why even have No as an option? And they are right, to an extent. But me, not that easy to convince. I have a 1000 other concerns that don’t even weigh equivalent to the benefits of moving out to a new country and the exposure I would hold for the rest of my life. I am just not used to leaving my family and being all alone and missing them and my pet and and and… I now understand why dad used to get so emotional (disinterested) in travelling for work even if it was just for 2 days. I got my offer letter, scholarship grant, wrote not such a bad exam, and I’m still in my thinking process (basically stage 1 of making a decision).

“You’ve come so far, why do you need to rethink?!”, “This is an opportunity that will define your future”, “You’re gonna regret if you back out now!!” – Everything what my parents/friends/advisers have to say. I know they are a 100% right, but I really don’t know why I am still not convinced. Oh, and the best part is given the option of not going, I feel I am wasting my life not moving out. GODD!! It’s so complicated for me I have asked everyone a 100 times they are just exhausted even talking to me (lol). I have passed my due date for confirmation, got an extension, I haavvee to decide today! Its high time.. (my mental process everyday)… In the morning: I am going, it’s good for me in every way. And towards the evening: Why do I have to leave home, why can’t I just do it online?!.. (I’m literally worried about my mental health now).

You see how overwhelming and crazy this situation is for me. I am so lost and I still can’t make up my mind. Even at the end of this post my brain is basically on airplane mode! But all I know is whatever decision I finally make I will work out something productive for sure, wherever I am 🙂

~Shahana

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